I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
