my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
