life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We are two peas in an std pod
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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