He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
