There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
