The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
