Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
