I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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