i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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