You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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