i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
