you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
