well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
