I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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