He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
