Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize