Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
