doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
