absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
