dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
