I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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