Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
