Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
