marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
