you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
