Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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