If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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