hotel room ftw
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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