quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize