oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
