I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
