worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
