im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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