If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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