He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
