I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
