He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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