some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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