its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
