Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
