Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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