4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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