You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
