oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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