I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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