Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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