Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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