I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize