Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
