he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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