Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
