you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This show inspires me to have sex in space
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
