I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
