The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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