it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
