Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize