Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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