so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
