Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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