my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Buhtt sex?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
