he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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